


Cost me so much

by lastchancecafe



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drabble Collection, Gen, M/M, Whumptober 2020, featuring a whole lot of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:40:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 3,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26670796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lastchancecafe/pseuds/lastchancecafe
Summary: He’d tried to hold him, but David had rolled away from him to curl in on himself for comfort. These days he simply lays there, feigning sleep, until the cries stop and he can hold his husband close.A drabble a day for Whumptober 2020 exploring the lives and fears of everyone in SC.Prompts and Warnings/Tags will be posted at the start of each chapter so you can duck out on anything that doesn't work for you.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 62
Kudos: 117





	1. Restraints (David)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied Dub-Con

David comes awake slowly, muscles aching with the physical memory of another night he can’t remember. He’s sore and he’s sticky-obviously he was too high to clean up. 

He stretches the familiar ache out of his jaw and goes to wipe the sleep from his eyes.

He can’t.

He’s awake now, arms tingling as he forces his eyes open. 

He’s spread-eagle, tied to a dirty mattress in a fashionably run-down loft. He can just make out a pile of condom wrappers on the nightstand the next to the strap of Sebastian’s Hasselblad. 

That explains the lack of aftercare at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this made you feel any sort of thing I'd love for you to come tell me in the comments. If the angst was too much I'm also doing Flufftober Drabbles so you can come and get all the feel-good feelings there!


	2. Falling (Patrick)

This isn’t right. 

After unloading his car Patrick drove to the trail Ray recommended. He needed a hike, something to silence the thoughts that chased him as he’d run away. 

This isn’t who he is. Rachel. His job. His parents- _ oh god his parents.  _

He needs to breathe. 

He’s just blown up his life over a feeling. Seriously, who does that?

He pushes forward up the trail, focusing on the ache in his muscles. He stumbles onto an overlook, dangerously close to the edge. 

The shock of adrenaline that ricochets through him is the first thing that’s felt right in days. 


	3. Gunpoint (David)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Violence, implied drug use, implied injury

“Give me all your money.”

“Like I told you last time, our money is not for sale.” 

David recognized the dark hoodie. The sting of embarrassment was a sharp reminder too. He doesn’t recognize the man’s look of desperation- _a junkie at the end of the rope_ \- until it’s too late. 

He’s on his knees in the back trying to steady his hands enough to open the safe he knows is empty when the bell chimes over the door. 

“David I hope you don’t mind I grabbed -“

The metal is cool against his head as the room fades to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this made you feel any sort of thing I'd love for you to come tell me in the comments.


	4. Stitches (David and Patrick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied physical abuse, heavy drinking

Five stitches across the eyebrow. 

The doctor says he’s lucky not to lose the eye. His heart aches almost as much as his face, emotional pain made real as he promises himself this is the last time he’ll go back. 

At least plastic surgery will erase the physical scar. 

———————-

Five stitches across the eyebrow. 

His fiancé yells at him in the exam room. A physical reminder of the hurt he tried to drink away last night. Thankfully his teammates stopped him from doing more than tripping out of the bar.

The physical scar one more reminder he can’t escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this made you feel any sort of thing I'd love for you to come tell me in the comments.  
> If the whump is too much I’m also posting daily Flufftober drabbles!   
> 💙 Sarah


	5. Failed Escape (David and Alexis)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied Kidnapping

He knows the number for the US Embassy in 12 countries. 

He knows the nearest international airport in 32 cities.

It doesn’t stop his heart rate from spiking when her ringtone chimes on his phone. It doesn’t matter how many times she’s escaped before, he can’t shake the feeling that this time will be the time she doesn’t. That this call will tell him her daring plan has backfired. That he’s failed to keep her safe. 

He still wakes up in the middle of the night, even now, just to hear her snores across the room reminding him she’s there.


	6. Support (Patrick)

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?”

After two days of increasingly vague texts and excuses, Patrick had gone to the motel himself. He hadn’t expected to find David pale and shaking, wrapped up in his bed. 

“I didn’t wanna bother you it’s just a cold. I’ll make it in tomorrow so you can have a day off-”

“David, I’m not worried about that. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Patrick squeezed into the tiny twin bed and held his boyfriend close trying not to think about David’s look of awe at the small gesture of kindness.


	7. Abandoned (David)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Nightmares

He wakes up, their bedroom dark around him. Patrick’s side of the bed is cold, their cottage quiet. He moves from room to room looking for his husband.

Patrick’s guitar is missing from their living room, his car gone from the driveway, his wedding band sitting atop of an envelope on the counter.

The scene changes, the feeling remains. Their store is dark in the early morning light. Patrick’s laptop is missing from the desk, the framed photo of their wedding gone, his keys sitting alone at the cash.

He sits up, gasping as his eyes adjust in the darkness.


	8. Please (David)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally posted 6, 7, and 8 a little out of order. So here’s prompt 6 as chapter 8 and hopefully we’re back on track!!

  
It’s his own fault really. 

He’d been so comfortable luxuriating in his Egyptian cotton sheets cool against the post-orgasmic flush of his skin. She had been rolling out of the bed, laughter lighting up her face as she reached for her dress. The words had tumbled longingly out from his heart before self-preservation could stop him. 

“Stay the night, please.”

Yvonne hadn’t even bothered with a response, simply pulling on her dress and walking out of his apartment. 

He pulled the sheet around him tighter. The cool cotton, so comfortable just moments before now cool with the sting of rejection. 


	9. Comfort (Alexis)

The first night in her New York apartment is fabulous. She Facetimes with Twyla, walking her through the new space and her plans. Later she falls into her new, full size, bed luxuriating in all the space. The exhaustion of the day quickly gives way to sleep. 

Something wakes her in the middle of the night. Whatever it was is gone, the sudden noise giving away to an unfamiliar silence. She can hear the traffic on the street, but it’s not the same as David’s tossing about. 

For the first time in her life, she misses the comfort of home. 


	10. Trail of Blood (Patrick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Blood, non-life-threatening injury

Patrick has come to expect occasional surprises when he returns from vendor runs. He never expected to walk into a trail of blood across their floor, no husband in sight. 

“David?” 

He tries to keep the tremor out of his voice, eyes scanning for the cause of the bleeding if not the source. David’s phone is on the counter, a case of body milk and a box cutter behind the cash. 

He pushes into the backroom gasping as he sees David, slumped down, a wad of bloody paper towels against his hand. 

“Oh hi.” his husband says before passing out.


	11. Crying (David)

His eyes are going to be so puffy, but he can’t bring himself to care. He’d practically run out of the gallery at the sight, a chorus of  _ stupid _ echoing in his head. Really what did he expect?

Shame. 

Outrage. 

Heartbreak. 

His phone is buzzing on the table a steady stream of friends expressing some measure of outrage on his behalf. For all the texts and tweets not one of them has bothered to actually stop by. 

He sniffles and pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders. It’s for the best, no one needs to see him like this anyways.


	12. Broken Trust (Patrick)

This isn’t happening. 

The fear he’d been putting off for so long, for what? It’s finally caught up to him and suddenly it doesn’t matter. Because he’s about to lose something even bigger. 

He sees the moment David realizes his secret and he waits for it to be over. He can’t look, doesn’t want to see the disappointment he put on David’s face. So he doesn’t see it coming when his boyfriend wraps him in his arms. 

He doesn’t deserve the comfort. 

Without meaning to he’s broken David’s trust again. He only hopes he’ll be able to earn it back.


	13. Breathe in, Breathe out  (David)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Panic Attacks

The first time it happens he thinks it’s just a bad high. 

The second time, he’s definitely on too much _something_. 

After the third time, he decides to ask his therapist. She tells him it’s all in his head and invites him to a sex club, promising him a good orgasm will take care of everything. He considers finding a new therapist but eventually just stops going. 

When Ted of all people gives the feeling a name and recommends a treatment he wants to ignore it. 

_Panic attack._

Just naming the feeling eases the ever-present tightness gripping at his chest.


	14. Heat Exhaustion (Patrick)

It’s his own fault. 

It’s getting close to the hottest part of the day and his only water bottle is long gone. He was supposed to be back before it got too hot, but he’s never done this trail before and he must have missed a marker. 

He can feel the skin of his nose starting to peel from the heat, of course, he forgot sunscreen too. This whole hike was supposed to ease his anxiety and help him formulate a plan for the feelings that are getting harder to ignore. Instead, he just feels nauseous. 

It's probably just dehydration.


	15. Found Family (Stevie)

Family was never really for her. 

The last time she saw her mom she was 16, she’d been living with Maureen for years before then so it wasn’t that different. She runs into her cousin Sean on occasion, usually when he and Bree need a place to crash for a few days. 

She always helped out because that was what you did for _ family _ . 

But then the Roses happened. David who truly saw her. Mrs. Rose and her dramatics. Alexis and her misguided girl-talk. And Mr. Rose who honestly believed in her. 

She’d been found by the family she needed.


	16. Forced to beg (Alexis)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Implied Kidnapping

  
This is a new one, even for her. She’s flirted and charmed her way out of countless impossible situations but it’s always been like super light and breezy-almost fun. 

This isn’t fun anymore. 

Viktor had brought her out on to some super exclusive island- which sounded so perfect-until she realized just how alone they were. When she’d mentioned the need to get back he’d been quiet, saying all she had to do was ask. 

Except she’s asked like a bunch of times now. She's acted casual, gotten impatient with him, let some fake tears fall. 

She’s running out of ideas.


	17. Dirty Secret (David)

He remembers this feeling. 

The embarrassment of his 22-year old self, surprising Steven at lunch, only to be surprised himself by the family photo on his desk, the wedding band that hadn’t been on his finger last night. 

The ache of Julia introducing him to her  fiancé at his own birthday. “I like it better when it's just us,” she’d said later as she tried to get in his cab, “no need to throw a renaissance fair.”

This is different. 

Patrick followed him to his room, brought him dinner, and promised him time. 

Somehow that just makes this feel worse.


	18. Panic Attack (Patrick)

After bringing David a plate of sliders and having a long-overdue conversation with Rachel he makes the short walk back to Ray’s. 

He can’t breathe. He should be able to breathe, it’s just a walk. 

It takes him three tires to unlock the front door, for some reason his hands won’t stop shaking. He tries counting the stairs as he walks to his room, timing his jagged breaths with each step. 

The counting helps-a little- so he sits on his bed and counts the flowers in the wallpaper. 

Somewhere around 213 his breathing slows enough to pass out from exhaustion. 


	19. Broken Heart (Rachel)

So much for a grand gesture. 

It’s not like this feeling is new- they’ve broken up dozens of times over the past 15 years- by now, it’s just part of their relationship, steady and familiar as always. 

This time is finally different, maybe that’s why it actually hurts. This time there really is no going back because Patrick has moved on into a whole new realm of self-acceptance and there really isn’t room for her anymore. 

The girl from the front desk- Stacey maybe?- had offered a bottle of wine and a shoulder to cry on. 

Maybe that will help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This concludes the trio of Post-BBQ feelings. Back to regularly scheduled, non-connected whump for the rest of the month.


	20. Lost (Twyla)

She was 4 years old when it happened. 

She'd been shopping with her mom, following closely around the store. She’d stopped to admire the mannequins in their sparkly dresses, lined up like princesses at the ball. When she’d turned around her mom was gone. 

She remembers walking into the house alone, hours later, her stepdad saying “hey Twyla, grab me a beer”.

They hadn’t even known she was lost. 

20 something years later and she remembers that day. Remembers that lost little girl looking for princesses that didn’t exist. 

“Hey Twy, I’ve been looking for you!”

She’s not lost anymore


	21. Infection (Patrick)

It was just a papercut. Or at least that’s what he told David as he wiped blood off the box and buried his hand in his pocket. 

2 hours later his finger is red and throbbing. He rinses it off and puts on another plaster before shoving it back out of sight. 

David lets him ring up one more customer singlehandedly before grabbing him and gently pulling his hand from his pocket. He kisses the flaming skin he sends him off to Ted’s with no room for argument.

Next week there’s a new package of rubber thimbles on his desk.


	22. Withdrawal (David)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Referenced: Drug Rehab, Drug use

There’s no way around it, this sucks. 

As if losing everything, except apparently a town in the middle of nowhere, wasn’t enough. Apparently, he’s going to be sharing a room with his sister and an unlocked door with his parents. And nevermind the fact that not a single person had texted or called or sent a fucking email since the news hit TMZ. 

No the worst part of this had to be going cold turkey. He hasn’t felt this tired and shaky and done since that one time he went to rehab. And there’s nothing he can do about it.


	23. Exhaustion (Patrick)

He’s always been able to power through. 

It’s one of the things coaches always admired. Something his parents were always proud of. Patrick never quits. 

That’s why he spent 3 months' salary on a ring he didn’t want to shop for, for a fiancée he didn’t want. Rachel’s never quit on him so there’s no way he can quit on her. Nevermind that he’s exhausted all the time now. Instead of happily celebrating their engagement he’s working longer hours than ever just for an excuse to be out of their apartment. 

He’ll find a way to power through this too.


	24. Blindfolded (Alexis)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Kidnapping

It’s not like this is the first time this has happened. 

She’s gotten out a trunk before, and honestly, the duct tape was a lot harder than whatever zip-ties these guys have used. It’s just, this is the first time she’s had to try something like this blindfolded, and something about not being able to see is making this whole situation a little more stressful than usual. 

She’s already sent David an SOS text so he’ll totally have a go-bag waiting for her at the Ukrainian embassy. As soon as she can figure out how to get this blindfold off.


	25. Disorientation (David)

The room is dark when he wakes up. Not like it should be from his room darkening shades, more like an impending sense of dread. 

His head is fuzzy even though he doesn’t remember taking anything. Whoever he stayed with really needs to up their bedding game because the sheets smell like cigarettes and feel closer to sandpaper than anything resembling cotton. 

He rolls over to check the time and promptly falls out of the twin bed onto the floor. 

“Oh my god, David!”

Alexis's voice rings out, far too close to where he’s laying, and suddenly everything comes back. 


	26. Migraine (Patrick)

He wants to cut a hole in his head, or maybe just stack a couple of bricks on top. Anything really to release some of the pressure that was slowly building behind his eyes. 

He hears Rachel moving around in the main room of their apartment and he rolls over fighting back his nausea with a groan. These migraines, which have popped up occasionally since college, have been getting increasingly worse. 

“Patrick?” Rachel’s voice is tentative, “we really should get going.”

Right, they’re supposed to go look at a venue today. He gets to his feet, ignoring his increasing nausea. 


	27. Power Outage (David)

The lights flicker once, twice, three times before giving out completely, plunging the motel room into complete darkness. Not that it matters, he hasn’t opened the shades in days. 

Alexis is at Ted’s, no doubt taking a break from him, his parents are probably waiting out the storm following dinner with the Schitt’s and Patrick- well it doesn’t matter where he is. It’s not really his job to take care of David. 

It wasn’t the dark that scared David as much as the unknown. Storms were beautifully unpredictable, showing up unexpectedly and leaving a wave of destruction in their wake.


	28. Mugged (Patrick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Armed robbery, mentions of injury. 
> 
> A continuation of Drabble 3

He pulls open the door, balancing their drinks in one hand as he calls out to David “I hope you don’t mind I grabbed -“

He hears a muffled whisper and a thud from behind the curtain. He smiles wondering what he’s caught his husband doing when the curtain opens and a stranger walks out. 

He takes in the ski mask, the jumpy posture, the cool silver metal of the gun in his hand. 

“Stop now and nobody gets hurt.”

The drink tray crashes to the floor as he spies his husband, crumpled on the ground in front of the safe.


	29. Emergency Room (David)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Contains a trip to the ER and mentions of a head injury

David and Stevie practically tripped over themselves on the way to the nurse's station. Despite their protests, there hadn’t been room for either of them in the ambulance. 

There had been no need to rush, they were directed to an uncomfortable plastic couch to wait. The game hadn’t been going well. David had been in the bleachers, complaining about having to deal with a grumpy husband all night. Then the pitch had gone wide hitting Patrick full force in the head. 

When the doctor called him over words like “concussion” and “medically induced coma” washed over him in a haze.


	30. Ignoring an Injury (Patrick)

Patrick was fine. 

Okay, that wasn’t technically true, he was recovering from a concussion bad enough that he’d been in a coma for a week and bed rest for 2 more. David’s face when he first woke had kept him on his best behavior at first. But he was bored, and antsy, and felt completely **_fine_**. 

He’d promised David he’d rest while he went to the store to fill online orders. 

Despite the fact that he hadn’t gone farther than the bathroom in a week he knew he could make it downstairs to the couch. After all, he was fine.


	31. Nightmares (David and Patrick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A double drabble to end the month. Contains nightmares and mentions of terrible relationships.

David has always had nightmares. A therapist or two had told him that they stemmed from insecure attachment, developed in his childhood. Not that knowing did him any good. 

The scene rarely changed, a revolving door of people coming and going from his life and his bed, always echoing the same refrain. 

_ “You didn’t really think this was serious.” _

_ “Love? Really David, don’t be so naive.” _

They never really stopped, not even after Patrick. Some nights he’ll startle awake and roll away from his husband's arms, curling in on himself for the only protection he knows he can trust. 

___

Patrick has never really had nightmares. His mom might be able to recount one or two as a kid after watching a scary movie with his cousins, but they didn’t leave any sort of lasting impact. 

But David- the soft cries were always the same each chipping a piece off his heart. 

_ “Anything you need.” _

_ “Please, I can do better.” _

_ “Don’t go.” _

He’d tried to hold him, but David had rolled away from him to curl in on himself for comfort. These days he simply lays there, feigning sleep, until the cries stop and he can hold his husband close. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to all of you who read these this month! This was a fun writing challenge for me and I really appreciate all your comments and kudos on the moments you enjoyed.


End file.
